Ways to improve our relationship with our bodies

What is Body Image?

How we look / how we THINK we look based on beliefs, values, and past experiences.

Behaviours that might signal you have poor body image

·       Body checking

·       Pinching

·       Constant weighing

·       Dieting

·       Restriction

·       Purging

·       Overexercising

·       Avoidance of certain clothes

·       Asking for reassurance

·       Self-abusive talk e.g., “you look fat”

·       Avoiding eating in public

 

Some factors which may lead to poor body image:

  1. Low self-esteem: high self-esteem has been shown to predict kinder self-talk and appraisals of our body, whereas low self-esteem is linked with more unkind self-talk.

  2. Weight history & your perceived vulnerability to obesity: people who have had trouble with their weight in the past or BELIEVE that they may struggle with their weight / obesity are more likely to develop poor body image than those who have remained a stable weight throughout life.

  3. History of being teased (for appearance): by peers, siblings and including seeing other people being teased

  4. Family attitudes: witnessing parents commenting on their own bodies, diet chat at home, commenting on other people’s appearance.

  5. Peer comparison: social comparison is a character trait which in turn is likely to have a damaging impact on your relationship with your body.

  6. The Media: doesn’t have as big an impact as we give it credit for. The media becomes a problem for people who may have already been affected by one of some of the above.

This can all lead to us developing an abusive self-talk that compounds poor body image: we may label ourselves calling ourselves “fat” or “disgusting”. Or perhaps we mind-read, assuming that others are going to judge us based on assumptions which are completely wrong for example, “they will think I am fat / weak / lazy” etc.

 

So, how can we start to heal our relationship with ourselves?

1. Live in the now

You don’t have to love your body, but it is important to learn how to be ‘ok’ with it and that means ‘ok’ with it NOW. Not when you have lost 5lbs, not when you have got abs, not when you have recovered...now. It might seem impossible, scary, completely unrealistic, but unless we start to do the things we want to / the things that make us happy now then we won’t be able to change our relationship with ourselves. You don’t need to wait for your new haircut, don’t wait to get your nails done, don’t wait to buy that coat you absolutely love. Whether you believe it or not, you deserve to give yourself these things now!

 

2. Work on Compassionate Brain Training...

  1. Start to notice your thoughts: e.g. “I am labelling” (I’m fat), or “I am being critical of my thighs”.

  2. Press pause...

  3. Acknowledge and accept your thoughts and feelings in this moment

  4. Say “thank you mind” and breath out

  5. Have self-care activities close to hand e.g., give yourself a hug, do you have a favourite perfume you could spray, is there a song you can put on which will automatically make you feel happy?

  6. Reflect. What happened just before the thoughts, what was the trigger, how can we start to a) reduce those trigger moments or b) manage them better?

 

3. Think about who you are seeing

Who are you following on social media and why are you following them. Start to unfollow accounts that make you feel bad, that make you judge yourself, that make you feel that you should be “thinner / better” etc. These are not accounts that you need to be following. Try filling your feed with funny videos, cute pictures of animals, amazing landscapes, anything that makes you feel happy and calm.

 

4. Expand your positive body experiences

Our bodies don’t need to be hated and punished. Gentle yoga, movement and stretching along with massages, reflexology and other sensual experiences have all been shown to improve one’s relationship with their body.

 

5. Try mindfulness exercises

A great homework to help connect the brain to the body in a more appreciative way is by doing mindful senses work.

·       Day 1: close your eyes and smell 5 x different things

·       Day 2: close your eyes and touch 5 x different things

·       Day 3: look at 5 x different things

·       Day 4: close your eyes and listen to 5 x different things for 10 seconds

·       Day 5: close your eyes and taste 5 x different things

Isabella Osmond