5 Ways to Help Kids Build a Positive Relationship with Food

Fostering a positive relationship with food in children, at a young age, is key when it comes to them being able to make food choices for themselves later down the line.

Many eating disorder clients I see have grown up in households where food and experiences around food have not been positive. How many of you were told to “finish the plate” when you were younger or that you “wouldn’t get pudding if you didn’t eat your broccoli”? Others might have heard, “oh, mummy can’t have cake because she’s watching her weight” or, “only men have seconds” (yes, I have heard that one!).

These messages around food have become deep-seated food-truths and stuck with clients their entire lives and been contributing factors in driving a negative relationship with food and themselves.

In order to help our children have a free and positive relationship with food, we need to change our mindset when it comes to mealtimes as parents play a pivotal role in shaping food attitudes and behaviours.

1. Lead by example:

Children are keen observers, and they often model their behaviour after what they see at home. If you say you hate tomatoes then without doubt your earwigging child will also, suddenly, hate tomatoes. If you are constantly trialing new diets, juice cleanses or talking about foods you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” eat, then your child is going to pick up on this messaging (whether you like it or not and no matter how careful you think you are being talking about it).

Role modelling a positive relationship with food, embracing a variety of nutritious options, and avoiding overly restrictive diets can set the stage for healthy eating habits. What does this mean? It means; have the salad, have the pizza, have the pasta, have the vegetables and the vegan dish, have it all in a wonderfully mixed, relaxed and balanced way.

2. Introduce a diverse range of foods early on:

Easier said than done, I get it. You might be time poor, your energy levels are on the floor and you just absolutely cannot face preparing food for your kiddo when you know they won’t eat it.

So, how can you overcome this whilst also keeping it simple?

Try to offer a variety of foods on one plate, making sure there is at least one thing you know they will eat, it doesn’t have to require a lot of effort, it could simply be a few of the following “picky bits”; cheese omelet, houmous, baby tomatoes, houmous, some crisps, chocolate or a biscuit, olives, cheese squares, fruit, sugar snap peas, cucumber (always a winner).

Exposing children to different flavours, textures, and cuisines will help to develop a more adventurous palate, reduce picky eating and help to set children up to make more “healthful” choices in their future.

Involving them in food shopping and meal preparation can also make them feel empowered and more invested in their food choices.

3. All foods have a place!:

Yup, you heard me. There are no banned foods here!

Work on promoting a balanced approach by emphasising the importance of all food groups. Teach the concept of moderation rather than labelling foods as "good" or "bad" as this helps prevent the development of a restrictive mindset and may help to foster an understanding that all foods can be part of a healthy diet when consumed in appropriate amounts.

4. Encourage Intuitive Eating:

Kids are born with an innate ability to recognise their hunger, cry blue murder until they are given food and then stop when they are full. As they start to eat solids, parents (and society) start to interfere with, “one more mouthful”, “if you eat that then you can have pudding” and we start to teach children that they shouldn’t listen to their internal signals, instead they should focus externally for guidance on their hunger and fullness…

Allow children to listen to their hunger and fullness cues. You are responsible for putting food on their plate at suitable times, THEY are responsible for how much of that food they eat.

5. Create a positive mealtime environment:

Make family meals a relaxed and enjoyable experience. Turn off the t.v, put the phones away and talk to eachother. Ask questions, tell stories, connect and enjoy eachothers company!

And, importantly, avoid using food as a reward or punishment (if you don’t eat that you won’t get x, y or z). Help children learn to associate eating and food with pleasure rather than stress.

ALL IN ALL…

To help kids build a positive relationship with food parents need to create a nurturing environment, free of stress, where their child can safely and calmly respond to their innate hunger and fullness. Be a positive role-model. Show your child that it is ok to eat all foods, that it is ok to have seconds and that it is also ok to leave food. Involve your children in making food choices to help empower them and most importantly, trust them as only they know how they are feeling!